Wasp...something to think about 1

Thanks Millie

Father of many

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way.

The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father."

The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that."

The priest looked up from his book and said, "I am the Father of many."

The boy said, "My Dad has four boys, four girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way.

The priest, getting impatient, said "I am the Father of hundreds," and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly... but on leaving the bus, he leaned over and said, "Well maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar."

Thanks Marc

Women

A real woman is a man's best friend.

She will never stand him up and never let him down.

She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.

She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.

She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident,
sexy, seductive and invincible...

No wait a second....Sorry.

I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that shit.

Never mind.

Thanks Ralph

I feel dizzy!

Thanks Sylvia

Woo Wooo

Two Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods.

All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.

'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!

He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about,. 'Was the other Indian crazy or what?'

The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening.

If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us.

Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Immediately, there was the answer.

'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside.

He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking,
'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found.. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!'

He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Like the others, he then heard an answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!' With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave,tearing off his clothes as he ran.

The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read................
You'll like this
NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!!

Thanks Richard

Man's Best Friend IV

GOLF Love affair

Ed and Carolyn met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.

 

 

 

When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.

Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Carolyn to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Carolyn was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.

On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Carolyn to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"

Carolyn took a deep breath and responded, "Ed that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker."

Ed said, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball.

 

Thanks Richard

Monday's Vehicle

Thanks Millie

Budget bill has 13,000 blogsites going dark...

from Yahoo News:

Last week, Dennis Drainville, the bishop of the Anglican Diocese of Quebec wrote a scathing piece about the bill and how the Stephen Harper government is minimizing the role of Parliament.
"In the last 12 months I have seen clearly the rise of tyrannical policies and the application of such mind and state control that the people of Canada , unless they soon react, will find themselves not only slaves to a corporate and political domination they never chose but they will experience the extinguishing of any of the hopes and dreams that they once had for a nation firmly based upon the foundations of compassion, justice and peace," he wrote.

"For God's sake, for all of our sakes, wake-up Canada."

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/canada-politics/bill-c-38-protest-13-000-websites-going-212703143.html

Happy Memorial Day America

Thanks Kerry

Happy Memorial Day

It is the
VETERAN,
Not the preacher,
Who has given us freedom of religion.


It is
The VETERAN,
Not the campus organizer,
Who has given us freedom to assemble.


It is
The VETERAN,
Not the lawyer,
Who has given us the right to a fair trial.


It is
The VETERAN,
Not the politician,
Who has given us the right to vote.

It is the
VETERAN who
Salutes the Flag,

It is
The
VETERAN
Who serves
Under the Flag, 

Thanks Kerry
 

MIT Team Create Ketchup Bottle That Pours Like Milk

Thanks Sylvia

Ikea Car

IKEA HAS ANNOUNCED IT'S INTENTION TO TAKE OVER GMC, AND TO SELL CARS
SOME OF US ARE GOING TO BE IN DEEP TROUBLE..........

Just as I figured - battery not included!

Thanks Heidemarie

Vehicle Theft.....

NO NEED TO BUST GLASS AND PRY DOORS OR TRUNKS. AND NEVER , EVER, LOCK YOUR PURSE IN THE TRUNK!!

What will they think of next???

Leaving valuables in your car ???

You probably won't, after you see this. Here are 2 ways they are getting into your car, so think twice about leaving anything of value in your car.

Thanks Ralph

Man's Best Friend III