People I Don't Know - From the Family Album

Aren't family albums fun.... there is nobody alive today that can tell me who and why these pictures were taken. What I do know is that my great grandfather was commissioned to build a project in India. Since he was an accomplished photographer I can only assume that he took some of these during his trip there.

Civil Servants in Japan VS Canada

Thanks Ivan or was it Richard.... no I think it was... oh forget it thanks folks

Thursday's Car

Thanks Kerry

Death Stare - Baseball fan drops little girl for foul ball

We all know that look don't we guys

Todays WTF Question

We have an aging society who, for whatever reason, did not plan for their financial retirement security.

We have a large segment of the population who cannot find work.

WTF

Let's introduce a private members bill to guarentee the rights of those living in condo's to hang a Canadian flag in front of their unit.

I live in a condo. I am not allowed to hang a flag... let me rephrase that.... I am not allowed to attach a support to the exterior of the structure.

That makes sense to me since I am not responsible for exterior maintenance of any kind..... the condo corporation is.... but they don't make the rules.... the majority of condo owners do.... majority rules, at least until the Federal Government decides it only works for them and not for the general population.

So why the distraction tactic???


For the record my blood type is A - Positive

and

My political views are B - Negative

Over my voting lifetime I have cast votes for Blue (PC), Red and Green. I have never voted Orange or Blue (C). Why not Orange? Because they are too far off center. Why not Blue (C)? Because they are too close to American Blue (R).

First and foremost I am Canadian and damn proud of it. The Federal Blue (C)'s have learned well from their American Idols. If you tell an untruth about your opponent today and, when caught, retract it... no one will notice.

A lie travels at the speed of light

A retraction is seen by the blind

Our Federal Government is running around the World touting the stability of Canadian banks as if they had something to do with our banking system yet they were not even a political party at that time.

They brag about our banks not needing a bailout.... http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=12007 read about the 75 billion dollar bailout.

Also read the following on sub-prime lenders http://teamfisher.com/canadian-sub-prime-lenders-seek-billion-dollar-government-bailout/

The following site was sent to me by a reader  http://harperbs.blogspot.com/ it makes for interesting reading and will be linked to this site for future reference. 

The Original Motorcycle Dog

A special thank you from the 3 people, from 3 remotely different locations that sent me this video...


Thank you Kerry, Richard and Margaret LOL

Colonoscopy Journal - Hilarious!

ABOUT THE WRITER  
Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the  Miami Herald.

 

Colonoscopy Journal:     I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

    A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis . ..

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

   I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven.   I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of  America 's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

    Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. 

In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically  water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. 

You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water.

(For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons).

Then you have to drink the whole jug.. 

This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon..

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.'

This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative.

I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? 

This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle.

There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt.  

You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. 

You eliminate everything..  And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic.

I was very nervous. 

Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. 

I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' 

How do you apologize to a friend for something like that?

Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said.

Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked..

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. 

Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. 

Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.     At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. 

You would have no choice, but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. 

I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere.. 

I was seriously nervous at this point.

    Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. 

I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.

'Ha ha,' I said.  

And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade.  

If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea.  

Really,  I slept through it..  One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

     Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. 

I felt excellent. 

I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that IT was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors.

I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

On the subject of Colonoscopies...  
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in  Arkansas , we're now legally married.'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out....'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

10.. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11.. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

12.. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

      And the best one of all:  
13.. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

Thanks Heather C

Prayer For Grandpa

Dear God, please send clothes

for all those poor ladies on

grandpa's computer .   

Amen.

Thanks Richard..... True story..... When Pat and I moved in to the house in Chateauguay my grandmother Piche - Taylor moved in with us. I had a Playboy calender hanging on the bathroom wall. One weekend Pat and I went to visit her parents in what was then West Shefford. On the Sunday night I was standing in front of the toilet... the one that had flushing problems.... and I looked over at the calender ...... my grandmother had taken a marker pen and put clothes on all the models....

When Japanese Babies are Born

Thanks Richard... that is funny

Funny Hilarious Banned Commercial

Editing is finally complete [CofCT]

To our great satisfaction the editing has finally been completed and the entire volume  'Understanding the Female' is now available....

Thanks Carolyn... I understand that this is actually volume one of several

Wednesday's Car

Thanks Richard

WTF HUDAK

He believes he can create jobs in a bad economy that his Federal puppet masters couldn't do by spending 55 billion tax dollars on their cronies.

I can tolerate a politician who lies to me.

Why?

Because he lied. He won't keep his promises.

What I cannot tolerate is a Politician who thinks I am stupid.

One that makes me promises that I know he cannot keep.

Tim Hudak thinks you and I are idiots.

Fact: you can't cut tax and provide service.

What is Timbo going to do to create jobs. Hire all the Federal employees that the Federal Government declares surplus?

WTF TIM

Tell us your plan and please make sense for a change.

I was the first to speak out against the HST

But... think about it....

I buy a 300 dollar object ...

I pay the appropriate tax

You on the other hand are a prick of priveledge

You buy a 5000 dollar object

You pay the appropriate tax

Point of Purchase Tax is the fairest form of taxes.

 I would like to see it rise to  20% or more and income tax reduced to zero percent.

But the American Lap Dogs in the Federal Government are to cowardly.

Heron Feeding

Hi Bob
Here are a few pictures of a Heron catching
A meal of catfish. Photos were taken in the back of Melocheville, Qc
Norman M


Thanks Norman... who would think that these birds, who are so awkward looking on the ground, could be so graceful in flight.

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

Bob Hill and his new wife  Betty were vacationing in Europe.....as it  happens, near Transylvania . They were driving  in a rental car along a rather deserted highway.  It was late and raining very hard. Bob could  barely see the road in front of the car.  Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob  attempts to control the car, but to no avail!  The car swerves and smashes into a  tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes  his head to clear the  fog. Dazed,  he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his  wife unconscious, with her head bleeding!  Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob  knows he has to get her medical  assistance.Bob carefully picks his  wife up and begins trudging down the road. After  a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards  the light, which is coming from a large, old  house.  He  approaches the door and  knocks.
A minute passes. A small,  hunched man opens the  door.  Bob  immediately blurts,  "Hello,  my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty.  We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife  has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your  phone?"

"I'm  sorry," replied  the hunchback,  "but we  don't have a phone. My master is  a  doctor;  come in, and I will get  him!"Bob brings his wife  in.

An older man comes down  the stairs.  "I'm  afraid my assistant may have misled you.  I  am not a  medical doctor; I am a scientist.. However, it  is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have  had a basic medical training. I will see what I  can do. Igor, bring them down to the  laboratory."

With that, Igor picks up  Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob  following closely.. Igor places Betty on a table  in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and  his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an  adjoining  table.

After a brief  examination, Igor's master looks  worried. "Things  are serious,  Igor.  Prepare a  transfusion."Igor and  his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob  and Betty Hill are no  more.

The Hills' deaths upset  Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the  steps to his conservatory, which houses his  grand piano. For it is here that he has always  found  solace.  He begins  to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody  fills the  house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still  in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement,  and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand  twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano  music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins  to rise, marking the  beat!  He is  further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up  straight!

Unable to contain  himself, he dashes up the stairs to the  conservatory.

He bursts in and shouts  to his  master:

"Master,  Master!.....The  Hills are alive with the sound  of  music!"
(I am soooooo  sorry.....but you really should've seen that  one  coming!!)You might even consider  changing your e-mail address  now!!!

Thanks Penny.... I don't believe for a minute that you are sorry for sending this one