Misdirected anger....

LOOK DEEPER...
Heather McKeown


About forty years old she must have been. A handsome blonde boarded the flight and didn't make any effort to connect with me after my usual welcome statement, “Welcome aboard my plane!” No big deal because it was a fast crowd composed of the post-New Year's fatigued. They just wanted to sit down, take off and get back to their inevitable realities.

        The fellow, a rather mousey one, somehow waded back up the aisle through the stream of people going in the opposite direction. He was just a tad taller than I and his little head came around the the partition like a turtle's out of a shell.

        “My wife and I aren't seated together.”

        “Sir, as soon as everyone's on board, we'll try to fix that. I can't do much about it right now, though. You can always ask, if anyone's sitting next to either of you, if they'd switch, though.”
“OK.”

        Boarding finished and it was time to walk down the aisle to count the empty seats so the pilots could figure out the weight and balance of the aircraft. The same gentleman, seated in an aisle seat, stopped me and asked if he could move back a row to sit with his wife. Normally, I'd just say, “Sure! Go for it.” However, I had to add, “Sir, she's in an extra legroom seat, so I'd have to charge you for it, but, by all means, please move.”

        “What? I'd have to pay? Nah, I'm fine here.”

         The woman in question was in an emergency exit row and stopped me with the question, “Would it be alright if my husband came to sit beside me?”

        “Ma'am, I offered him the seat but it involves an extra charge. The seat beside him is open, too. Would you like to pop up a row and sit beside him there?”

        With the speed of a striking cobra and venom to match, the woman spat, “NO, I WOULDN'T! I have rheumatoid arthritis and long legs so I have to sit here. Why would you charge him? What a terrible, ridiculous thing to suggest. I'm going to complain to this airline! The customer service is terrible here. Horrible! What a stupid thing to ask! THE SEAT BESIDE ME IS EMPTY SO JUST PUT HIM IN IT!!!”

        There was someone at the window, the seat in the middle was, indeed, void of a hot body and then there was the angry woman in the aisle. I whispered, “Ma'am, I offered the seat to him and he said he was fine where he was, actually.”

        “Well, I want to sit with my husband and you're not letting me. I'm going for surgery in two weeks.” she said with a sneer.

        We were about to close the flight and try for an on time departure so I just said, “I'll be back later, Ma'am.”

        As I walked away, wondering what I could do to have her understand that our customer service is often flexible, but when it comes to putting a non-paying-the-extra in a seat when others who had paid would resent this, well, we're not encouraged to do so. She'd be a tough sell, though. Usually, I would be easier to deal with myself, but the husband was fine where he was and, quite frankly, gave the impression that he really didn't want to move back to his wife's row. He was comfortably installed and quietly reading a good book, and his spouse was but one row back and across the aisle. I mean, for less than two hours, that would be an acceptable situation for most couples, I should think.

        Final walk through the aisle before taking off. “I can't believe you won't let my husband move to this EMPTY seat beside me!” the woman hissed. Everyone heard and, at this point, I dug in my heels even deeper.

        “Ma'am, I'm sorry but I've offered a solution and your husband says he's fine where he is. Are you sure you're fit enough to sit in the emergency exit row?”

        “Of course I'm capable of THAT! I won't move! I told you I have arthritis, didn't I?” she said loudly and with a heck of an attitude.

        The man just kept reading. I was given the impression that he took the escape-into-a-good-read habitually. After all, my internal perception machine was informing me that he was perfecting an avoidance-of-the-shrew technique quite nicely. The anger spouting from his wife wasn't really meant for me or the airline providing me with polyester and benefits. The fog of my immediate judgment was clearing and I saw the dynamic for what it was. The woman was upset that her husband wasn't willing to pay the extra money to sit beside her. She was hurt, insulted, embarrassed and in pain. If I were to diagnose the actual origination of her sour mood, I'd say hurt was the catalyst. A woman wants a man who'll pay the extra for the privilege of sitting beside her, doesn't she? Even if its only for a hundred minutes.

        During the flight, I went back and knelt beside her. “Hi. How's the pain today?”
Looking down at me, she said, “Not too bad. I'm having surgery to fuse my ankle in a couple of weeks.”

        I rested my hand on her arm and told her that I could barely walk last year but my new hip put me right back into the land of the mobile and asked, “Do you wake up crying at night?”
“I hardly sleep at all because of the pain.”

        Patting her hand, I said, “Well, here's hoping your operation is a huge success. Gosh, I can't believe how mine put me back on track and gave me such relief. Where are you having yours?”

        We chatted on for quite a while and it was lovely. A woman in pain needs a sympathetic ear and her husband wasn't about to offer his when he could attain a short respite from, if memory and experience serves, chronic complaining. Maybe he never paid attention or empathized. I'll never know. For the remainder of the flight, every time I had the chance, I was at her side. No, she wasn't likeable. No, she wasn't gracious. Maybe, just maybe, she wasn't cherished by the man one row up and across the aisle. This would make any wife misdirect her anger at the closest target. In this case, the bull's eye was me and my company's policy.

        As she limped off the plane, several people behind her better half, I gave her a good hug. She needed one.

Thanks Heather