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Saturday, April 30, 2016

Saturday's Ride - Montreal shows off new electric bus

Does this not sound insane?


"In the seven days that ended Tuesday, in addition to the death of Ms. Price, a 3-year-old in Georgia, a 3-year-old in Louisiana, a 2-year-old in Missouri and a 2-year-old in Indiana fatally shot themselves; a 4-year-old in Texas shot and wounded a family member; a 16-year-old in California killed a 14-year-old friend in a shooting that officials called accidental; a 15-year-old in Texas accidentally shot and wounded a 16-year-old friend; and a 13-year-old in Indiana accidentally shot and wounded herself."

A Toddler, a Loose Gun in a Car, and a Mother Dies


No one can know for sure what was in the mind of the person who fired the shot that killed a woman as she drove through Milwaukee on Tuesday. The shooter was 2 years old.
The woman who died on State Highway 175 was Patrice Price, 26, the Milwaukee County sheriff’s office said Wednesday, and the gun was in the hands of her own toddler.
The weapon, which investigators found on the floor of the back seat, was a .40-caliber pistol used by Ms. Price’s boyfriend, a security guard. His gun belt and tactical vest were also in the car, the sheriff’s office said. The local news media reported that the blue Dodge sedan Ms. Price was driving belonged to the boyfriend.

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/28/us/a-toddler-a-loose-gun-in-a-car-and-a-mother-dies.html?_r=0

The Italian Cow - Read until the very end

The only cow in a small town in Northern Italy stopped giving milk.  
The town folk found they could buy a cow in Sicily quite cheaply.
 
So, they brought the cow over from Sicily.
 
It was absolutely wonderful.  She produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.
 
Then they bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again.
They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away.  No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull, and he was never able to do the deed.
 
The people were very upset and decided to go to the local veterinarian, Dr. Santucchi, who was very wise, to tell him what was happening and to ask his advice.
 
"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away.  If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.  When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side."
 
The veterinarian rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Sicily?"

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Sicily."  You are truly a wise veterinarian," they said.  "How did you know that we got the cow from Sicily?"

 
 
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eyes:
"My wife is from Sicily."

Thanks Ivan

SCHOOL BUS IN JAPAN





SCHOOL BUS IN INDIA  
 


........and which country do I get 
when I have a technical problem
with my bloody computer?

Thanks Harry

My First Baby Sitter..

video
Thanks Ivan

Man rules

Some you have seen before, but they are worth repeating



> Ladies, please note: we already know your rules. These are our rules. They’re not numbered because we consider them all to be rule #1. 

> Men are not mind readers.

> Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We want it up, you want it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 

> Crying is blackmail.

> Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work...strong hints do not work…obvious hints do not work. Just say it.

> Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

> Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

> Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in a conversation today. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.

> If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

> If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

> You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

> Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

> Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

> All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

> If we ask what's wrong and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you’re lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

> If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

> When you have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…really.

> Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you’re prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.

> You have enough clothes.

> You have too many shoes.

> I am in good enough shape. Round is a shape.

> Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

Thanks Randy

When you're over sixty, who cares!

 
Helloooo There Gent's  !!
 
A few smiles & chuckles for you !!,,,,
 
The weather is getting nicer,,, have yourself a great week-end !! 
 
CHEERS !!  John,,
 
 
 
Subject:  When you're over sixty, who cares!
 



 
 
 

*********** 
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.   She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." 
I said, "If I did all that, I'd be talking to your girlfriends over there instead of you."

*********** 

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs. 
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try." 
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said. 
"Come on, what day was I born"?
 
I said, "Yesterday." 
*********** 
I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today. 
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
*********** 
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. 
I said, "Nice legs." 
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."
I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. "
 
***
Hey, when you're over sixty, who gives a darn ?

Thanks John

Friday, April 29, 2016

Friday's Rides - 5 Coolest Design E-Bikes

Desperate Conservatives want Harper back at the helm

As the ship begins to sink Stephen Harper cowers in a lifeboat as Conservatives arm themselves with oars
T


This phenomenon is easily explained ... 1 out of every 3 Conservatives is as stupid as the other 2

Dim Wits on Parliament Hill

“Only Liberals would sell off our Chinook helicopters before a replacement, which was supposed to be the EH-101 helicopter, was in place,” Gallant said in the Commons and highlighted in a news release sent out Friday to journalists. “Without the strategic lift helicopters cancelled by the Liberals, soldiers died unnecessarily on the bomb-laden roads of Afghanistan.”
One problem with that statement. It was Brian Mulroney’s Conservative government that sold off Canada’s Chinooks to the Dutch. The false claim that it was the Liberals who sold the Chinooks has been repeated over the years by a number of Conservatives, including Chris Alexander and Peter MacKay.
Not one to let facts get in the way, Gallant continued.


Conservative MP Cheryl Gallant misfires again



Most honest view of Harpers reign of incompetence I have seen in the MSM

Cohen: How Harper's legacy is slowly being dismantled

Who has seen Stephen Harper? Wasn’t that him, wearing a baseball cap, at the Shake Shack in Las Vegas? Wasn’t that him, in the same headwear, at the airport in Fort Myers?
Having had too much of the poor man for almost 10 years, his critics no longer have enough. Now that Harper has all but vanished they hold that against him, too.
Who can blame him for lying low? On Oct. 19, he suffered the cruellest of fates: He lost his government but won his seat. Divine retribution.
More than any other, the political story of the last six months is the incredible shrinking legacy of Stephen Harper. His record of achievement in office is disappearing as fast as he is. Breathtaking.
John Ibbitson, the award-winning writer, calls Harper an “important” prime minister. He believes, as a biographer must, that his subject was substantial and consequential.
Six months after his defeat, here’s another view: Stephen Harper was a failure in power. He created nothing lasting. Of prime ministers since 1945 who served a full term or more, his is the thinnest record.
Harper took on none of the big social issues – abortion, gay marriage, capital punishment – which animated his loyalists. He championed no constitutional reform and established few innovative programs. He proposed no new national initiatives – museums, pipelines, high-speed rail – or declared a projet de société.
Politically, he left a party with one-third of the vote but no seats in Atlantic or Northern Canada and few in urban, ethnic Canada beyond the Prairies. He brought the West in, yes, but made no inroads in Quebec.
His legacy is style: small, nasty, narrow, divisive. It was rooted in a one-man government with weak ministers (such as Kellie Leitch, clad in sackcloth and ashes, who regrets her role in “the tip line” on barbaric cultural practices). Harper’s modus operandi was explored brilliantly by Lawrence Martin in his book, Harperland.
Hubris was Harper’s undoing. “When they told us in caucus six months before the election that the campaign would be built around Harper, I knew it was over,” says a Conservative MP.

Wrong Number

video

The Most Expensive Car in the World


You might think that spending $1.5 on a submarine car would be the most anyone would want to pay for a vehicle. Turns out it's not even halfway there. Indeed, at$3.9 million dollars, the 2013 Lamborghini Veneno Roadster makes the original Rinspeed sQuba seem like an absolute steal.
So, why is this vehicle named in honor of a particularly speedy bull from the early 20th century so expensive? For starters, there are only one in the world because Lamborghini made it to commemorate their fifty year anniversary. For another, its engine has more than 750 horsepower, which allows you to reach sixty MPH in about three seconds and top out at 220 MPH. The construction style is carbon fiber monocoque, helping it grip the ground and aiding in steering. If all that doesn't sound like enough reason to spend that much on this vehicle, consider that in March 2015 the vehicle was put up for sale at 11 million dollars after it had been driven more than five hundred miles. Apparently if you are going to try and overcharge for a car, don't go halfway on the markup.

Thanks Maria

Prize Winning Idiots

Number One

> "I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre in Brisbane. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and, at the end of the conversation, happened to mention that she had given her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. 
> I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away".

> Number Two.
> Some Boeing employees on the airfield in Sydney decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming towards them.
> It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

> Number Three.
> A man, wanting to rob a Bank of Queensland, walked into the Branch and wrote, 'put all ya muny in this beeg.' While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank and crossed the street to the NAB Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of Queensland deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a NAB deposit slip or go back to Bank of Queensland. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, ';OK'; and left.
> He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at the Bank of Queensland.
> Happened in Brisbane.

> Number Four.
> A guy walked into a little corner store in Cairns with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, ';Because I don't believe you are over 21.'
> The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's licence out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
> The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that she got off the licence. They arrested the robber two hours later.

> Number Five.
> A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
> The first one shouted, ';Nobody move!'; When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
> Happened in Adelaide

> Number Six.
> A guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window. The brick bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Flexi-Glass...
> The whole event was caught on videotape.
> Happened in Perth WA.



> Number Seven.
> "My daughter went to a local McDonalds and ordered a burger. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'; He said was sorry, but they only had iceberg."
> Happened in Surfer's Paradise.



> Number Eight.
> "I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded. "That's why we ask."
> Happened in Melbourne ..



> Number Nine.
> "When my husband and I arrived at a car dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ';Hey,'; I announced to the technician, 'it's open!'; His reply, 'I know - I already done that side.'"
> Happened at the FORD dealership Dubbo

Thanks Randy

Irish toast



John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 
"Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife !"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night !
He went home and told his wife, Mary, 
"I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, 
sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the
street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, 
"John won the prize the other night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. 
You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. 
"Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, 
and the other time he fell asleep.

Thanks Ed

Bathroom Signs