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Saturday, June 30, 2012

Saturday's Vehicle

Thanks Richard

Taps


This is superb.  Take a minute or 4 to watch, then dry your eyes and get
on with your day - remembering.

The conductor of the orchestra is Andre Rieu from Holland . The young
lady, her trumpet and her rendition of TAPS makes your hair stand on end.  Many
of you may never have heard taps played in its entirety, for all of  the
men & women who have died for you so you would have the freedom you have
in America . This is an opportunity you won't want to  miss and I
guarantee you'll never forget.

Melissa Venema, age 13, is the trumpet soloist.  Here is Taps played in
its entirety. The Original version of Taps was called Last Post, and was
written by Daniel Butterfield in 1801.  It was rather lengthy and formal,
as you will hear in this clip, so in 1862 it  was shortened to 24 notes
and re-named Taps. Melissa Venema is playing it on a trumpet, whereby the
original was played on a bugle.

video
Thanks Kerry

De Walt Nail Gun

DeWalt Nail Gun

A must have in every home in America!

For everyone who would rather not have a “gun” in the house!

In view of the recent Supreme Court ruling, sales of this new product may skyrocket.

Washington thinks they are going to take away our guns, so check this out. I like it!

NAIL GUNS! AND, you don't even have to REGISTER them or have LICENSES for them!

AND, you don't have to worry about them being CONCEALED!

Just a LOT of good stuff to do with THIS!

Once in awhile something so totally cool comes out that even a guy who doesn't normally even know what he'd like for Father's Day or Christmas would immediately ask for it:

Thank you, DeWalt!!!





New Nail Gun, made by DeWalt

It can drive a 16-D nail through a 2x4 at 200 yards.

This makes construction a breeze, you can sit in your lawn chair and build a fence.

Hundred round magazine. Laser bore sight available.
 

If someone tries to rob your house, just nail his butt to the wall!
 
 Thanks Kui
To help save the economy, the Harper Government will announce
next month that the Immigration Department will start

deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower
Canada Pension, OAP and Medicare costs.
Older people are easier to catch and will
not remember how to get back home.
I started to cry when I thought of you.
Then it dawned on me ... oh, crap ...
I'll see you on the bus!

Thanks Ed

Honda's Amazing Transportation Device FYI


This is truly amazing.
I don’t know how long before something like this is available to the public.

Thanks Marty

Live like someone left the gate open








Thanks Penny

The quickest way

An American tourist in a small village he was visiting in Newfoundland , approached a local person and asked, 'What's the quickest way to Marystown?'

Jarge, the local, scratched his head, 'Are ya walkin er drivin?' he asked the stranger.

'I'm driving' said the stranger.

Jarge replied, 'That's the quickest way'



Thanks Ralph


Thanks Marty

Finally, a truly well dressed Walmart Shopper!

Thanks Randy

SCOTTISH COMPASSION



A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.
Three women, from England , Wales , and Scotland , were walking past
 And felt sorry for the poor man. The English woman said, "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said, "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on. The Welsh woman said, "Have you ever had a kiss?" The man said, "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on. The Scottish woman came to him and said, "ave ye ever bin fooked, laddie?"
The man broke into a big smile and said, "No"... She said, "Aye, ya will be when the tide comes in."


Thanks Richard

Friday, June 29, 2012

Friday's Vehicle

Thanks Millie

Ramblings of a retired mind....




I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call it 'Pumping Rust.'

I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?' Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor'!

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do ... write to these men?  Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were crammingfor their finals.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

Thanks Carolyn

Knock On The Door

There was a knock on the door this past Saturday morning.

I opened it to find a young, well-dressed man standing there who said:

"Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."

So I said "Come in and sit down."

I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked "What do you want to talk about?"

He said, "Beats the shit out of me
. Nobody ever let me in before."


Thanks Randy.... when my grandmother lived upstairs over Dave and Roz on Empire she loved to have the Witnesses show up at her door. First it gave her company and second she could talk and destroy anyone when discussing the bible. She knew her bible inside out and upside down.... it was her life

Greenfield Park Corner





Cranky old man




When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to  Microsoft Melbourne. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.


Cranky Old Man
What do you see nurses? . .  . . .What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . .  .. .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . . with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food ... . .. . . . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . .. 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . .  . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not .. . . . . . . . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding  . . . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?  . . . . . .  Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . . you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am . . . . . . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . . . . . . . with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . . . . . . who love one another

A young boy of Sixteen . . . . . with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . . . ... ... . a lover he'll meet
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . ... . . my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. . . . . . that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . . . ... . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons .. . . . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . . . . . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .  . ... . . . ..Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me .  . . . . . ...
   . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... .. . . . . . . . . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . . . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . .. .. . . . And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . .. . . . and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . .. . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. . . . ... . . . . .. grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone .. . . . . .. . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass .  . . .. A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . .. . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . . . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . .. . . . .. . . . . life over again.

I think of the years . all too few . . .. . . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . . . . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . . . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .   Look closer . . . . see . .. . . .... . ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within ... . . .
we will all, one day, be there, too!
PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM,
The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched.
They must be felt by the heart.



Thanks Randy

Sir Nicholas Winton


Sir Nicholas Winton who organised the rescue and passage to Britain of about 669 mostly Jewish Czechoslovakian children destined for the Nazi death camps before World War II in an operation known as the Czech Kindertransport. This video is the BBC Programme "That's Life" aired in 1988. The most touching video ever.



Thanks Sylvia

My Friend Learns If He Still Has Cancer


My friend, Jake Bouma, meets with his oncologist on June 22, 2012, after four rounds of chemotherapy to treat his Hodgkin lymphoma.

This clip is part of a documentary I am creating on his journey, "Let's Do This: Facing Hodgkin Lymphoma."



Thanks Sylvia

When I die


Jesse


A DREAMER AND HIS DREAM

Let me tell you, Jesse hated this job. And you would too,
I imagine, if you had to do it.
Jesse was a chicken plucker. That's right.

He stood on a line in a chicken factory and spent his days
Pulling the feathers off dead chickens so the rest of us
Wouldn't have to.
It wasn't much of a job. But at the time,
Jesse didn't think he was much of a person.
His father was a brute of a man.
His dad was actually thought to be mentally ill
And treated Jesse rough all of his life.

Jesse's older brother wasn't much better.
He was always picking on Jesse and beating him up.
Yes, Jesse grew up in a very rough home in
West Virginia. Life was anything but easy.
And he thought life didn't hold much hope for him.
That's why he was standing in this chicken line,
Doing a job that darn few people wanted.

In addition to all the rough treatment at home, it seems
That Jesse was always sick. Sometimes it was real
Physical illness, but way too often it was all in his head.
He was a small child, skinny and meek.
That sure didn't help the situation any.

When he started to school, he was the object of every
Bully on the playground.

He was a hypochondriac of the first order.
For Jesse, tomorrow was not always something to be
Looked forward to.

But, he had dreams. He wanted to be a ventriloquist.
He found books on ventriloquism. He practiced with
Sock puppets and saved his hard earned dollars until
He could get a real ventriloquist dummy.

When he got old enough, he joined the military.
And even though many of his hypochondriac symptoms
Persisted, the military did recognize his talents and
Put him in the entertainment corp.
That was when his world changed.
He gained confidence.

He found that he had a talent for making people laugh,
And laugh so hard they often had tears in their eyes.
Yes, little Jesse had found himself.

You know, folks, the history books are full of people
Who overcame a handicap to go on and make a success
Of themselves, but Jesse is one of the few I know of
Who didn't overcome it. Instead he used his paranoia
To make a million dollars, and become one of
The best-loved characters of all time in doing it!

Yes, that little paranoid hypochondriac, who transferred
His nervousness into a successful career, still holds the
Record for the most Emmy's given in a single category.

The wonderful, gifted, talented, and nervous comedian
Who brought us


Barney Fife
Was
Jesse Don Knotts.
NOW YOU KNOW, "THE REST OF THE STORY"
There is a street named for him and his statue in
Morgantown, West Virginia, his place of birth. 

Live simply, love generously, care deeply,
Speak kindly and trust in our GOD
Who loves us.
SEND THIS TO A FRIEND .... I just did.

Thanks Sam/Ellen

Adult content - Just for laughs

After a visit to the local house of ill repute ,

a man notices some greenish lumps all over his penis,

so he goes to see his doctor.

After a thorough examination he waits for the results and gets called into the doctor's office



“ Well, That’s pretty serious ” says the doctor .


" Really " says the man

“ Well, of course, the doctor says.You know how wrestlers get cauliflower ears ?”


“ Yes ” says the man seriously .


“ Well ” says the doctor , ......................................“ You’ve got brothel sprouts !!!!!!!!! ”


Thanks Randy

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Thursday's Vehicle

Thanks Millie

The most memorable scent in the world

Better than frying bacon, a rose or the scent of a woman is the smell of a freshly bathed and powdered baby.... nothing makes your heart sing louder than when they lay their head on your chest and fall asleep...... that has to be one of my fondest memories of my kids.....

Comment on the blog

Fantastic !
It's all great,really appreciate a blog,thanks.

It's a breath of fresh air seeing our old life & it was a great one.

Keep it up,I know it's a lot of work,only you know how Marty worked on that
blog,plus all the things that people sent in,like Norman,you guys know.
Cheers,MMcG

Believe me, I know, I speak for everyone,we all appreciate your time.

Thanks Millie McG

Thanks Millie, much appreciated. Marty did the blog for Parkers and when input dwindled he decided to shut it down where as I do the blog for me (self indulgent old fart) if Parkers happen to read it and enjoy it that is great. Even though I wasn't a long time resident of Greenfield Park it is still the best place any kid could have been a teen in the 50's and 60's and is filled with my favorite people.

But my wife won't like it

A Golfer accidentally overturned his cart.




Elizabeth , a golfer who lived in a villa on the course heard the noise and yelled over to him .

"Hey you what's your name?"
"Willis he
 replied. "Willis forget your troubles. Come to my villa, I'll give you good driving lessons andI'll help you get the cart up later."

"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered,
"but I don't think my
wife would like it."

"Aw come on," Elizabeth insisted with a wink.

"Well okay," Willis finally agreed,
And added, "but ma wife won't
like it."

After a hearty dinner, and sexy driving and putting lessons,
Willis thanked his host.
"I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be real upset."

"Don't be foolish!
Elizabeth said with a smile , she wont know any thing.
By the way, where is she? "

" Under the cart !!"

Retirement


Depressed? Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the
children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and
camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."

Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt
said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel,
this is the Promised Land."

Today, the Government has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!

Now, in Canada, we can only retire at 67, not 65. The government officials get the big bucks in their pocket and can retire at 55 with full pension while the tax payers, us, slave for pennies,
and they're even getting rid of them, go figure.


I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Old Age Security, retirement funds, etc ....I called a Suicide Hotline.

I had to press 3 for English.

I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I
was suicidal.

They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck......

Folks, we're screwed.....



Thanks Richard

They start 'em young

Connor 5 and Jenia 4 on my laptop. It has a touch screen just like mommies Iphone

Newfie in Texas




A Newfie is visiting Texas and starts a conversation with a Texan at a local bar.
The Texan asks the Newfie where he's from and the Newfie says, 
"You know where New York is? The Texan says,  "Yeh, yeh, I know where that is
"The Newfie says, " Well boy, you just drive north of there about 6 hours,
turn right for 3 hours and catch a ferry for 6 hours and you're in Newfoundland."
The Texan says "Wow, that's got to be close to China!"
The Newfie thinks about this and then says,  "By gosh, I think you might be right. 
I work with a Chinese guy and he goes home for lunch every day!"

Thanks Randy

Polish Arm Wrestling

video
Thanks Marty..... that brings back fond memories of Mike Huzulak. He got me on this one thats how old it is.....LOL

A LITTLE BOY

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man called Terry who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"
 
The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a
couple blocks and turn to your right."
 
Terry thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town.
I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday.. I'll show you how to get to Heaven."
 
The little boy replied with a chuckle. "Awww, come on... You don't even know the way to the f#@%ing Post Office!"


Thanks Randy

New Zealand Toyota Ad

video
Thanks Richard

Animal Puns










Thanks Sylvia

That's what happens if a box of garbage falls into a volcano lake

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Wednesday's Vehicle

1954 Dodge (experimental)

How do you like me now?

I have changed the look of my blog

The question is... is it better or worse????

Please comment

The ABC's of Skin Cancer



Know Your ABCDEsMelanoma is the deadliest form of skin cancer but it can be hard to identify. The ABCDE guide helps. If your mole fits the characteristics below, call your dermatologist pronto:
Asymmetry—if the mole could be folded in half, the two halves wouldn’t match
Border irregularities—the mole’s borders are uneven or blurred
Color variations—the mole has mixed shades of tan, brown, black or other hues
Diameter—the spot is bigger than a pencil eraser
Evolution—its appearance has changed in some way     
http://ca.shine.yahoo.com/skin-cancer-tell-harmless-mole-melanoma-170048216.html

Facebook has switched your contact email address

The social-networking site has quietly replaced your default email addresses such as Gmail and Yahoo! with your @Facebook.com address, an email service option the company launched a few years ago and synced with Timeline in April.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/facebook-switched-email-address-one-youve-probably-never-140221018.html?_esi=1

I went into my profile and verified this report and sure enough my contact address has been changed. Do me, and yourself a favour, DO NOT attempt to contact me through this address.

I already have PRIVACY CONCERNS with Facebook and this intrusion without my permission or prior knowledge is deeply troubling.

What to do:

I went in to my profile scrolled down and checked to see if the address had been changed, both the old and new address is there.

I then clicked on EDIT

Then I went to the far left of my prefered email address and clicked on the icon it opens and shows not shown on time line so I clicked it to shown on time line.

I then went to the new email and clicked on NOT shown on time line.

Make sure to scroll to the bottom and save

Brain test game


This is very interesting for retired or near retirees.

 Measure your brain's age in 2 minutes by playing some fun games.
 If your final score is younger than your actual age, then you are doing fine with enough brain related exercise for your brain... 
 If, however, you score higher than your age, this indicates your brain functions could be slowing down and you need to exercise your brain more...
 Click your mouse here to play: Brain Age<http://www.freebrainagegames.com/>  

Thanks Norman

Invasion Of Spain Who Is Next???


Let Us Hope This Will  Be A Wake  Up  Call For Our Canadian  Government??????

Thanks Norman.... while I am not anti-Muslim I most certainly take offence to any minority coming to Canada, regardless of their religious beliefs and trying to redesign the mosaic of our country in their eyes. 

Live with it or leave it.

Gun Store Ad From Mason, Texas.


You can't make this stuff up!       ...... 
Keller's Riverside Gun Store in Mason, Texas  
This is a real commercial ad That was put on the air 

Little Casanova

video
Thanks Richard

Typewriter rhythm


If you haven't already seen it, this is a great way to start the day...
Especially for all the ancients who remember what a typewriter was!!   



Thanks Richard.... This is particularly funny because our daughter-in-law took the grand kids to garage sales on Saturday and they came across a typewriter ..... she was devastating when her kids didn't know what it was

New motorcycle gang in town

But do I qualify for the ride????




Thanks Kerry

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Tuesday's Vehicle

Thanks Millie

Facebook switched your contact email address

The social-networking site has quietly replaced your default email addresses such as Gmail and Yahoo! with your @Facebook.com address, an email service option the company launched a few years ago and synced with Timeline in April.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/facebook-switched-email-address-one-youve-probably-never-140221018.html?_esi=1

I went into my profile and verified this report and sure enough my contact address has been changed. Do me, and yourself a favour, DO NOT attempt to contact me through this address.

I already have PRIVACY CONCERNS with Facebook and this intrusion without my permission or prior knowledge is deeply troubling.

What to do:

I went in to my profile scrolled down and checked to see if the address had been changed, both the old and new address is there.

I then clicked on EDIT

Then I went to the far left of my prefered email address and clicked on the icon it opens and shows not shown on time line so I clicked it to shown on time line.

I then went to the new email and clicked on NOT shown on time line.

Make sure to scroll to the bottom and save